My Dog is a Terrible Roommate
Bentley is cute, I’ll give you that. But he’s really terrible too. I love him, but good god is he difficult to live with sometimes. Not just due to my own annoyance… he also embarrasses the crap out of me regularly. Here are a few reasons why Bentley is a terrible roommate.
He’ll eat your food.
Not just your food. He will eat candy wrappers, tea (both in the cup, or just the tea bags), cat food, guinea pig food, poop from both of the aforementioned animals, abc sunflower seed shells, ashes (he has licked ashtrays clean), drain hairballs, and of course, food.
When feeding the cats and dogs, I have to separate them by species to make sure Eden and Reilly get a chance. That used to be enough, but lately Bentley has been trying to eat Quincy’s food too, so I have to stand between them until Quincy has had his fill.
As far as people food goes, that’s even more tempting. We’ve gotten pretty good at remembering not to leave actual food within reach, but when you’re dog is half monkey, that can be a challenge.
He has No Concept of Personal Space
Bentley will get all up in your business. He doesn’t feel like he’s close enough until you’ve made out with him…. with tongue. Don’t forget about his snack list though. His breath will probably smell like one of them. Then he’ll sit on your lap, read over your shoulder, and probably nibble on his butt in between.
He seems to consider lap sitting to be his sacred duty. If he is removed from your lap, he will immediately return, without fail. Every time. I hope you’re not claustrophobic, because his clinginess may trigger that.
Then there’s the constant interruptions! His favorite is disrupting a movie by racing into the living room, throwing himself on the ground, kicking himself in the face with his hind foot, and snarling at his foot like a gremlin while continuing to kick his own face. He will do this until we yell at him to stop. You’re also not allowed to pet anyone else without petting him first. He will make sure to break that right up.
He has no respect for quiet hours
2 am and there’s a slight rustle outside? No problem, he’ll alert you! Trying to watch a movie in peace and someone might be walking by outside? Better let you know! Last call for a potty break at 11 pm, and he’s right next to the neighbor’s window? There’s probably no reason to bark, but he’ll do it anyhow, just in case.
As well as his imagined enemies, Bentley barks at the guinea pigs, the hedgehog, his own back foot, his toys, and the front lawn.
It doesn’t really matter to me though. He’s also a sweetheart, deep down, and obviously one of my best friends. He has to share that title with his many brothers and sisters, but he doesn’t seem to mind, as long as he’s on the top of the pile!
Is your dog a good roommate or a bad one? Tell us your stories!