Misconceptions about Gay People and Our Dogs

gays and dogs

There seem to be new stories every day spreading wild ideas about gay people and our mythical “agenda”. Some people think we’re trying to convert them. Others think we’re trying to shut down all the churches. Others think we’re trying to serve pizza at our weddings. Don’t even get me started on the crazy theories people have about our dogs. Oops, too late. This entire post is about that. Since there seems to be so much confusion, I’m going to try to clear up some misconceptions about gay people and our dogs.


Q: You’re gay?!?!??? But You don’t look gay! Oh, that must be why you have a little dog.

A: The only thing you can be sure that gay people will look like is they’ll look like people. Being gay doesn’t mean you talk a certain way or dress a certain way. Also, I’m not hiding anything. I generally don’t feel the need to make a big announcement about it either. I mean, when’s the last time you walked into a room and said “HEY EVERYONE, I DATE WOMEN! (or men, depending on who’s reading this). In most cases, it’s not relevant. My dog has nothing to do with it either. I’ve wanted a German Shepherd since I was a kid. I have small dogs because I rent, and it’s really difficult to find apartments that allow large dogs. When I buy a house, the first thing I’ll do is adopt a German Shepherd… and then Bentley will boss it around because little dogs are generally tougher anyhow.

Misconceptions about Gay People and Our Dogs you're gonna have a bad time meme

Q: Did you get a dog because you can’t have kids?

A: No. I don’t want kids. I want dogs. I don’t understand why people expect everyone to want kids. I’m not the only one who feels this way! Plenty of people are perfectly happy with pets instead of kids.


Q: Are your parents disappointed that you haven’t given them grandkids?

A: 1. I’m not an only child. They have two other shots at grandkids. 2. What other people want isn’t a good way to make life-defining choices — even if they’re your parents. 3. I gave them something way better: grand-dogs.

One of my siblings wants kids. If my parents are getting grandkids, they should look there instead. I firmly believe that the world is over-populated, and I don’t want to make more kids. I wouldn’t be completely against adopting if I had a long term significant other than wanted kids, but it’s just something I’ve never wanted. I don’t think family pressures should cause you to make huge life choices either. You have to live with your life choices, especially if that choice is to have kids. That’s a huge change in lifestyle, and one I don’t want to make for other people. My mom started calling Quincy and Bentley her “grand-dogs” all on her own. Maybe she’d like to have grandkids, but she’s pretty happy with grand-dogs.


Q: But the dog wearing sweaters thing is definitely gay…

A: He’s cold. What do you want me to do, let him freeze? And it’s super cute anyhow.

When my dogs do wear clothes, it’s usually for a few minutes for a picture, or because they’re cold. I do think they’re cute, but I don’t want anything getting in the way of them just being dogs, and these foolish manufacturers make too many hand-wash-only dog clothes. I mean, seriously. You know they’re going to get dirty fast. There’s no way I’m hand washing dog clothes every day!

Quincy gets shaved down whenever he gets to the point that his hair is in his eyes, which isn’t always seasonally appropriate. I’ll let it go until spring usually, but there have been numerous times when he’s needed some extra layers after a haircut. The Pacific Northwest gets cold at night, even in the summer, so sweaters are actually pretty important if we’re out at night, on a camping trip for example. They also help keep them dry, although I haven’t found anything that keeps their feet and belly dry without a lot of fighting!

molbaks christmas dog sweaters

Q: Aren’t you afraid it’ll be hard to find a boyfriend with all those pets?

A: If he doesn’t like animals, he’s not the right guy. My animals are my life. I’m not sitting around waiting for some guy to happen along. If you give up on your hobbies just to date someone, chances are, you’re a boring person. If you give up your pets to date someone, you’re a terrible person. I’ve come to find out that I have much broader and diverse interests than the average person. I’m perfectly fine with that. If a guy doesn’t like my animals or my hobbies, he’s clearly not the right guy, and I’d be stupid to change my life to accommodate him. If I never find the right guy, that’s ok. I’m not lonely. I have dogs and other creatures, and their love is unconditional.


Q: Oh, is that why you like animals, because your family doesn’t accept you?

A: I liked animals before I had any idea what sex was, much less figured out who I was attracted to. I liked animals since before I could walk. My family accepts me just fine. They might not get it, but they also don’t get my love of animals all that much either. Animals, especially dogs and cats, have been a great comfort when I’ve gone through tough times, including coming out, but they’ve comforted me through tough things that had nothing to do with being gay as well. It is true that dogs are more accepting than people, so I’m definitely glad to have them, no matter what.


Q: So what’s this gay agenda I keep hearing about?

A: It’s a myth made up by people with an anti-gay agenda. Gay people just want to live in peace and have equal rights.No one wants to ruin your marriage. No one wants to close down your church. No one wants to corrupt your children. We just want to live our lives and walk our dogs in peace.


So those are my two cents on the misconceptions about gay people and our dogs. For a female perspective, head over to Fidose of Reality and read Carol’s post on the subject!


  1. MyDoglikes

    If your “agenda” with this post was to make us laugh, well done. Your sense of humor is great about it, but its also sad that you have to deal with these kinds of questions. Thanks for sharing a piece of your life with us. We like you just the way you are (and those pups are pretty darn cute too) .

    1. ryan (Post author)

      Thanks! That was my agenda. lol The dumb questions are pretty easy to brush off, but I’d like to get better at coming up with witty comments on the spot, instead of staring at them dumbfounded and silently judging their lack of boundaries. 🙂

  2. Pip and Ruby

    Hi – I’m stopping by from the Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop. So glad, I found your blog. This is a great post. Thanks for sharing it and I hope lots of people read it. I’m going to sign up to follow your blog, Facebook, etc. Hope you will visit my blog as well.


    1. ryan (Post author)

      Thank you! I really appreciate it. Can you give me a link to your blog?

      1. Pip and Ruby

        Thanks! http://Www.pipinthegame.blogspot.com

        Have a great day!

  3. Caren Gittleman

    I absolutely ADORE Carol Bryant and learned about your blog from HER blog, so I had to head over.

    I am now in love with YOU too!!!!!!!

    Here is to EVERY ONE being true to who they are and if people don’t like it, they can mind their own damned business!

    1. ryan (Post author)

      Awesome! Thank you. 🙂 Everyone should adore Carol!

      The most confusing thing to me about all the equal rights debates is why anyone who isn’t gay cares. Strangers having equal rights doesn’t affect their lives! I’ll just continue being me, and watch the tide turn in favor of equality for everyone.

  4. Talent Hounds

    Welcome to the WW hop, so glad, I found your blog this post was hilarious and so true. Caroll is great too! I love your style of writing and ability to take on difficult issues with a great attitude. Looking forward to reading more from you, thanks for sharing a piece of your life with us.

    1. ryan (Post author)

      Thank you! I usually keep it all about the animals, but with the news lately, this subject has been on my mind a lot.

  5. Travel Animal Doctor

    Lol, love this article. Will definitely be sharing it.

    1. ryan (Post author)

      Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it so much. 🙂

  6. Rachel Sheppard

    Fantastic read! Firstly, I am sorry you have to deal with so many people’s ignorant comments and questions. Secondly, thank you for sharing your opinions. Love this post.

    1. ryan (Post author)

      Thank you! You just have to laugh at the ignorance. 🙂

  7. Jen

    Such truth on the grandkids angle regardless of who you love. I also choose not to have kids, and even if I wanted them (lost some maternal drive in my mid-20s and never got it back) I physically can’t have ’em due to broken-now-missing parts. I get the same assumptions just being a woman… and it’s a big reason why women aren’t equal in the workplace or have trouble being hired at all (she’s in her late 20s or 30s, she’s DEFINITELY going to need/want maternity leave! She’s certainly going to leave work early to take kids to soccer practice! She will only give 78% of what a man will give to this job!). Not something that’s socially acceptable to have on a resume… imagine shouting that out in an interview. Heh.

    Not only am I with you on the overpopulation angle, I also think that the world will be an extremely tough place to live when we’re old (let alone kids)… I’m just not convinced it will be a great place to live in 50 years time.

    I love dressing them up for photos (Mort loves the attention and will actually push his head into clothing or hats, so he’s usually the model!), and have a jacket for Mort when it’s cold. It only happens about 2 days per year where I live, but it’s there for when we functionally need it. Judgements about me putting my dog in a top hat? Go for it. I dare the world to ask me whether I care about what they think.

  8. Carol Bryant

    Ryan, I loved being able to share this blog exchange with you. I admire that you are sharing more of you and doing so with such humor yet fervent belief in who you are.

    1. ryan (Post author)

      Thank you Carol! It’s always an honor to work with you. You’re inspiring me to put more of myself into my posts.

  9. Robin

    People are so weird. I don’t know why people freak out whenever someone isn’t exactly like they are. I’m straight, so I don’t get these particular questions, but I’m also bipolar, so I get a whole different list of crazy questions. My kitties are my kids and I’m perfectly happy that way even though I could very well have children with my husband. I see nothing wrong with choosing to be childless. I figure that if at some point later in life I feel that I want children, there are thousands of children that are looking for capable, loving parents out there. Keep on being you! That’s the best way to go.

  10. Connie

    as a cat person, I found myself substituting cat for dog in a lot of this and totally agreeing with it.

    as a woman, I made a few other substitutions and agreed with that too

    as a person who has decided children are not part of my life plan (from the age of 12) I can’t agree more with the statement that someone else’s view on things should have any effect on what you choose to do with your own life. When I got married 25 years ago I was overwhelmed with the ‘so when are you going to have kids” question. I started answering them with a smile and ‘when you have them for me’ and in very short order the question simply stopped. It really is amazing how rude and hurtful that question can be but yet people feel the need to cross that line over and over.. imagine the couple who really really want kids but can’t have any.. or the woman who just miscarried before telling anyone she was pregnant. *sigh*

    and I have a wardrobe of cat clothes.. you know what that must say about me 😉

  11. Rama's Mama

    Sometimes people are just dumb. It’s nobody’s business anyway. Great post! And your dogs are adorable!

  12. Beth | Daily Dog Tag

    Love this post!

  13. DZ Dogs

    Great post!
    Very funny, and well written. 🙂 People can be so dumb.
    I had a gal one time go off about how stupid it is for dogs to wear clothing, she was attacking little dogs but being a big dog owner whose pups wear clothes I was quick to jump in and correct her.They get cold! My poor kids are super healthy, have almost no body fat, and if I can’t be outside in a t-shirt then they get to wear a sweater. If they don’t then they sit and shiver, demanding to go back indoors. LoL
    My family has been pretty good about accepting the fact that hubby and I don’t want kids and that our dogs are our kids.
    They too are called grand-dogs! And my family is great about making clear that the “kids” are always invited over.

    Love the pup pics!

  14. Jean Dion

    Why oh why are there assumptions tied to dogs in clothing? My super-small Boston terrier doesn’t wear clothes because I like them or because I want them. She wears them because she shivers like crazy without them. It’s simple, people!

  15. Kristen

    “If he doesn’t like animals, he’s not the right guy”

    That’s right! I don’t think mine realized at first just how many dogs I would bring into his life, but he loves every one of them. If he didn’t, it just wouldn’t work.

    1. ryan (Post author)

      I think the number of animals I have already is a pretty good sign for anyone I might date. They should be able to figure out what they’re getting into. lol It’s definitely a priority!


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